Since when did I become invisible

The other night I was totally engrossed in a TV program about Omega 3. In part of the progam they had four courier drivers, each had to eat a different type of fish daily for a month. Mackeral, Tuna, Mussels and Salmon. Just when they were doing summarising how each one fared, the phone rung. I raced to answer it and told Peter to fill me in on what happned with the experiment. I came back, sat down and asked how did they go. He had forgotten!! I was only away about 10 minutes. How could he "forget". Did anyone esle see it? Was there any evidence what fish was the best? Omega 3 - once a week lately we have fresh salmon, loving it.

This started as a weight loss blog. Funny place I'm in at the moment, not even thinking about weight loss. Exercise for the first time in five years is non existant, mainly due to my hip or so I tell myself, but it's feeling a lot better. Why aren't I going back then? Habit! I've got out of the habit of daily exercise. Not good really, well not good at all! Shows me how easy it is to break a habit. Tonight back into the pool again, no matter how cold it is, I'm going! Despite how I've been no real change when I weigh myself, a fluctuation here and there but hovering around 74. I don't really understand, when I try, I really try hard, track, exercise and no magical losses, then I've hit this slump and I'm not trying at all and no gains! Weird?? I'm thinking the danger is if I continue like this what will happen. Upwards I would think.

Today - meeting a friend for a long lunch, LOL she insisted somewhere where we can have a glass of wine. No kids, office work reasonably up to date, so will be nice and relaxing. Tonight - the pool!

Yesterday we popped in to see Chris H, she was looking so much better than a couple of days before. We were going to have lunch afterwards, (but no names mentioned here) left the car lights on and had to call out the AA to get the battery going again. Wonder it wasn't me as that's the type of thing I would do!

Whan I met Peter I used to have really long hair, he hated it when years later I got it chopped of. Even now he tells me I should grow it again. Yea right, I think my long hair days have gone. The other day at the hairdressers I asked for something different. Gulp, he cut it really short. I don't like it! I thought Peter would make some comment when I got home as it is shorter than I've ever had it. I waited, nothing!! Daughters haven't noticed either. Since when did I become invisible!

Day from hell.

I felt stressed out last night - completely. Little wonder really.

Mondays I pick the grandsons up from school and we go to swimming lessons. It's a mad rush as the school is in the country and about 15 minutes drive from the pool. Lessons start at 3.35. I pack a snack for them to eat on the way, we race in, they get changed and into the water. No time to spare. It doesn't help when I lose a couple of kids!!!

The school bell must have gone early yesterday, I found Fynn right away but no sign of Jordyn. Devin (hopefully) was waiting at the gate. Fynn raced around looking for his cousin, no luck. Then we thought Jordyn may have headed of to after school care by mistake - he had. Raced in and collected him in a mad rush. Of to the gate to get Devin. No Devin, once again Fynn raced around this time looking for his brother rather than cousin. He found him - in the toilet! Bloody hell I thought - we don't really have time for this. Devin strolled out, all the time on earth on his hands. He had forgotten his glasses. Back to the classroom. I told him I would put the other two in the car and he had to wait at the gate for me. I go back to the gate - no Devin!! I waited, waited, waited..... in the end I took of back to his classroom, not there. Back to the car, panic, panic, there he was sitting there in the car! This all took 25 minutes so I took of in a huge hurry. Typical, got behind a slow driver who was in no hurry. We got to the pool. Late - never mind. Then Jordyn all dressed walked on the inside of the barrier at the pool and almost fell in. I just grabbed him in time.

Home again, pleased that was over. The kids noticed the creek that goes through our farm was in flood. They were really keen to get down to see it. So Peter took them. I went into the office to catch up. A few minutes later, I could hear a kid, screaming!!! I raced outside, the noise, bellowing was getting closer. Devin, he had fallen into the creek!!!! He was hysterical, not as in funny hysteria either! He had stepped onto some wood not realising it was on top of the water. In he went, freezing cold water and mud. Grandad to the rescue.

We stripped him of, he was still sobbing, into the bath to warm him up. We had no clothes to dress him in. His cousin had a spare set in his school bag. All too much for Devin, no way was he going to wear 5 year old size when he was 7! A massive tantrum, so I put him in the bedroom for time out. Then I felt mean! Poor kid sitting wrapped in a big beach towel. So cuddles were in order.

I dropped the kids of home, our nephew was at our daughter's house, he called out and asked how my day at been. The reply: "not good, I lost two kids at school, we were late for swimming, then Devin fell in the creek" he just looked - LOL probably thought this nana shouldn't be left in charge of any children!

Worse day I've had with them, however I think it keeps me young.

The contract - another extension.

Uncertainty?

Last day of our contract today and we haven't heard a thing! We've had a fair bit of uncertainty over the past years. Peter was made redundant nine years ago. Just to keep up with him I was made redundant the following year, then again two years later! Peter started his own business and the first three months were a bit of a worry, apart from just a few jobs, it was dead! Then gradually the work picked up. Uncertainty - well I think life would be a bit dull if everything was black and white and clear in front of us. But when you get to the stage we are in life, you sort of expect it to be a little more settled.

Friday I invited another nana who picks up her grandson from school to come home for a coffee. This little boy she picks up has a terminal illness and is of to have major surgery in Auckland next month. He's quite shy and doesn't normally like visiting, but we were amazed how much he loved it here, he didn't want to go home!! So we had J, his two year old brother and our three. Peter (the biggest kid) made the boys fishing rods, they drew and cut out cupboard fish and the boys "fished" over a half wall in the workshop with Peter sitting behind attaching the fish, then to the boys surprise they also caught a chocolate fish! When J (the little visitor) left he held my hands and asked to come back. So cute. Our boys were brilliant, J is in the same class as Fynn our grandson, so Fynn knows through school that he has to be gentle, I gave the others a quick talk on the way home and they were all very caring. I was proud of them.

Saturday morning, our daughter phoned she was shopping and told me to come into town for a coffee. Soon as she hung up, the phone went again, it was my friend and we have organised a lunch out this week, (LOL ages since we caught up so she wants to go somewhere where we can relax and have a glass of wine). This conversation made me late getting into town so coffee with daughter ended up to be lunch. Saturday night we had a family get together as it probably will be our son's last weekend here. We ordered curry takeaways - really nice.

Ummm - our family, well I looked around on Saturday night and thought to myself I never imagined this would be our family unit. One daughter has two gay brother in laws who were there, then we have the recently separated daughter, the still single son, Peter and I, and Rachel and her husband. LOL A bit of a mixed group. It was a fun night. I forgot the four grandsons. One wanted to know who they flew the curries in from India.

Yesterday was lazy, visited a friend, lit the fire. Nothing much. Our son headed up north, he had to wait around most of the day as the roads were closed with snow. Eventually one road was clear so he headed of, and I received a text message to say he made it through. He has a job interview today.

Today, going to pop into town shortly, of for a pedicure. I phoned Stew last night and even though Chris is not great, he said she was lonely and would like visitors. She can tell me to buzz of if she's not up to it. Poor woman has been through the wringer. Boys to swimming lessons this afternoon. End of month - BUT - the website we enter our jobs in, is down, has been since Friday, so work (or lack of it seems) weird as I'm usually busy.

Friday

We've talked a bit about what will happen if we lose the contract. No great solution but we both agreed we would have to be a lot more careful with our spending. After years of struggling when the kids were growing and even at times wondering how we would manage, we reached the stage where I didn't think too much about what things cost. Now with groceries and petrol prices spiraling, a few weeks ago I decided I needed to knuckle down.

I used to pop into the supermarket most days for bread, fruit and end up coming out with another mini shop. A lot of what I didn't really need, just caught my eye. So in an effort to save (and it's working):

- I decided I would head of to the dreaded supermarket where you have to pack your own! I have steered clear for years but found it is cheaper. Daughter told me about the scanners, so I joined, LOL she had to come with me the first time and I was a bit gob smacked at her racing around with a scanner in one hand and her cell phone in the other.

- I have a set amount and I don't spend more than that. Any thing left over from the set amount I buy Christmas Club coupons.

- I have a list! Never used to bother but I find it means I'm not having to go back for "forgotten" items.

- The only items I buy between supermarket visits is veges, fruit and milk.

- Peter loves something sweet with his coffee or tea, so I thought it may as well be something nice than purchased, so after my big shop I come home and bake. Peter and the grandkids (and our kids I might add) think they are in heaven. All in moderation though!

- After the baking session, I use any stale left over bread, sometimes spread it with marmite and just a little grated cheese. cut them into fingers and bake slowly in the oven for about an hour. Grandkids love these too:-)

- Also decided to grow spinach and silverbeet - but something keeps eating them so not much luck with the gardening!!! I think it is birds pecking at it.

Yesterday was the baking day, Anzac biscuits, Choc chip cookies and citrus slice. I ended up picking up the three boys from after school care and they came back and did quite a bit of licking of bowls and beaters. Must admit I find home made baking hard to resist, but apart from just the odd little taste (just to check you understand) I haven't lost the plot!

If all else fails - I will go and get a job!

I really appreciated the comments, it is good to know who is reading. At this stage no rash decisions and I will continue being public.

Have a good weekend:-)

Public or Private?

Seems there a few readers popping by but very few comments - I'm curious to see who does read. Would be good if you said hello.

I've always gone with my theory how blogging helps me, don't know what it is but writing down feelings helps deal with what's going on. It defiantly has kept me focused on watching my weight, aiming for healthy eating and balance in my life. I've also found it a good record to look back on. And of course the support and friendships are an added bonus. I've gone from a public blog, then private as I dealt with a few issues then family issues - now I'm back to public. Don't know really where to go from here. I'm in a situation that I tend to write now and gloss over or don't mention a lot of what's happening. I don't feel I open up as I don't know who is reading.

Really down to two options:
Public - keep going this way and do the gloss over thing, keep it light, deal with mainly weight, health and daily issues, which is what I originally intended - or
Private - invite only - and open up my feelings, worries, happiness, the real life! Not that what I write is not real, it's not always open.

My immediate family know I write here, not the extended family, nor friends. Weird how some of us do that??

Thinking about it and what to do....

Once again - if you are a regular reader, would love you to say.

It's cold!!

It's so easy to get out of the habit of doing something!!! When I'm in routine, it's easy, once a day sometime I'm heading to the pool. No matter what. I stopped going last week to rest my hip. (oh yes - the pain has eased a bit despite me not yet going for the ultra sound or taking the anti-imflammatories - naughty, I know, I'm just hoping it will go away) but am I heading back to the pool? NO!!!! TOO COLD! I have to get back into it, because it's not actually that bad once I get into the water, it's just that split second when you first get in and it's so cold I feel my heart has momentary stopped beating! Back tonight - I think.......

I reckon every family has one - one child that has attitude, one that pushes the boundaries, always seems to be in trouble, gets into everything. With our kids it was our son! We used to joke we didn't think he would make it to school age, he was always in the wars. With the grandkids in one house is a bit debatable which one it is trouble some one. LOL they have turns. In the other house it is clear cut - Casey our youngest grandson wins hands down. He's gorgeous - but always in trouble. This is the child aged about two, who got out of bedroom window one night in summer and hopped on his bike having a lot of fun going around and around under the sprinkler. He's three now and getting better - but... Excerpt from daughter's email below:

boys are good apart from Casey, he nearly burnt the house down this morning, was washing dishes and they were in lounge, he had his *ruggy rug right to heater and when I went it it was burnt and smoking was prob only seconds away from flames. I was so scared. He got yelled at etc I was really scared it was close. He was yelling at me ruggy needs to be warm! and then cried cause I threw it away. Will have to have another serious chat tonight, he knows not to touch it but prob thought he wasnt as just warming up rug. Freaked me out.

*ruggy rug - is what two of the kids call their comfort thingee

I replied - sounds just like your brother when he was a kid. Flashing memories of our son going into the kitchen and within seconds pushing stool over to the stove, climbing up and turning on all the elements still make me squirm. He couldn't walk but used to get about pushing this stool.

Reply from daughter:
he's free to a good home, comes with furniture and clothes....

No thanks!!! We have had our turn. Did you have one of these kids in your family?

Geezz - it's cold. We have the fire going in the house, not very often do we have it going all day! Peter has just arrived home for lunch, hopefully with a loaf of nice bread to go with the pumpkin soup. Wonders will never cease - he remembered the bread!

Catch you later

Sanity

Sanity is a hard thing to keep in our household. Eventful life at times!

Our work contract, expired last December. Since then it has been rolled over month by month. The last roll over was for two months, ending June 30th - which is next Monday! No news at all - so Monday we could lost a big hunk of our work.

We have visiting engineers coming today to check out our house! A few years ago we had earthquake damage. It resulted in the back part of the house moving, not a lot, but enough to crack the bathroom tiles, make it hard to shut windows and doors. A firm came and pumped some substance underneath, lifting the dropped section up. It's dropped again!! Not as much, but we've had it checked out and now need an engineers report to see what is happening.

Our son's temporary job runs out on Friday, he's still uncertain where to next?? In April he popped up for a visit, next week it's July and he's still here! It has been good having him, but I think we had also got used to being on our own! Still he very kindly cooked the pheasants for dinner that the neighbour dropped of the other day. No way was I cooking them or eating them! Husband and son assured me they are just like chickens - but the smell of them cooking was quite gamey! Not for me!

Our planned trip to Aust. I was so into getting the best prices, connecting flights etc that I didn't pay too much attention to the dates. Now checking out the tickets and we arrive back into Wgton. at 9.00pm on a Sunday night. That's ok - but it happens to be the 31st which means end of month, and I will have to come back to catch up on two weeks paperwork..... that's if we have a contract then!

Can't think of much else that's happening - but I think that is enough for now!